we fit like perfect puzzle pieces

First semester of college is over... Awesome. I think i did all right. not terrible, not great. good. I'm happy to be home for a month though.

My boss called me up asking if i wanted to work over break. He gladly gave me 6AM shifts.... Kill me. I'm not a morning person and it's gonna frigun kill me. It'l be nice to make some dough though. Being a poor college student sucks!

I'm slowly getting over a sickness that i got just in time for finals. That's a plus.

I've been super delayed with the new line. I dind't realize how much stuff i actually had to do. I have mounds of shirts all over my room, you can barely walk. Along with my mannequins sprawled out around the place. It's an interesting site. I'm so overly stressed for my release, and i don't think i'll be able to put all of my stuff out on time which is a SUPER bumer. I'm still having difficulties with some of my suppliers sending me the wrong stuff over and over again. Hopefully i can find a way to get it all done.

On top of this, christmas is stressing me out, and seeing all the people i want to see before they go back to school :/ AHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I don't get stressed out too often, but when i do i take it to the max. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Snow came finally. too bad it's the gay powdery shit. I need that wet shit, son. Igloo building may commence tomorrow though. The snow is looking pretty good for packing says the forecast. should be fun. I got a bunch of people that want to do it so hopefully we'll build a massive one. I see a lot of them flaking on the actual work side of it though. whatever.

Me and coop bought 120 cigars last night. HAHA. 120... 2 cases of grape white owls, 1 case of chocolate phillies, and a case of raspberry bliss. We haven't even had the bliss before. It just had nice cleavage on the box so we went for it. You can't go wrong with raspberry though. hmmmmmmmmm.....

Bed time. Maybe i'll get 2 horus before i wake up at 5:30..... sigh

PS- Therefore I Am is on all of warped '09. They're a band i've loved for about 4 years now and they're local bostonians. I'm trying to work out a sponsorship with them througha good friend. We'll see what comes of it :)

It's been about three and a half years since i've watched the sun in ful rotation.

I pray for rain:
I didn't sleep last night. First all-nighter writing a stupid paper about myself. I feel like complete shit now which I'm slightly regretting. My stomach is in a pretty big knot right now and I'm not sure if it's all the shit i put into my body to stay awake or other shit. I'm a little wired, a little tired, tiny bit shaky, and really dehydrated. I'm not quite sure if it's hunger I'm feeling either or if it's that weird nausea i get. The kind that makes me tense up and shake at things that bother me. sigh. I really can't wait to sleep at one...
stressors currently messin' with my mind:
-women
-finals
-essays
-exams
-Christmas presents
-my lack of sleep
-whatever sickness i have right now
-paradox

Plastisol:
I did a ton of printing for pretty much this entire past weekend. 2 full days worth and only about a 4Th of what i need to get done for the release. It was less than i planned to do but turned out very nicely. Maybe I've gotten in over my head, but i got what i asked for :) I'll probably get someone to slave away in my sweatshop with me over break. We shall see.

Kit:
I lost some of my chops from being on tour. that utterly blows. I went from playing my kit everyday to about a few times a month. I'm lucky if i get to play once or twice as month while I'm at school too. I miss that outlet of stress relief. I'll try and catch up over break though.
I don't need wisdom anywho...
Around my release show(s) and highly anticipated recording dates with Undefyed, I get the good old wisdom teeth out. I'm not stoked, but I've only got three so i guess I'm somewhat thankful.

Increase your dosage...
Get down with the get down. 9 days and I'll be in a better place. This one is dumb.

To be continued...

weird beginning of a week....

more later...

something for someone...

You only live once, so why not die of smoke inhalation?
Over winter break I'm building an igloo(assuming we get snow). Not many people build igloos and i think that's a shame. It's a lot of work but i think it's worth the reward. I built one with some friends a year or two ago and it was awesome. We basically packed recycle bins with snow and made them into bricks, stacked about a hundred bricks, and patched in the holes. And that was our igloo.

This year will be different, we're making a cigar igloo. It's something I'm wicked stoked on. I love cigars. Not cuz I'm like addicted, but because they're relaxing. They remind me of friends. Good times with friends where we just chill. I miss just sitting on my back porch at 2AM just smoking and chilling out. I can't think of a time i had a bad cigar smoking experience ha ha. I'm a tool. But yea, the plan is to build an igloo with friends (hopefully Dustin can come out) and then after just smoke with all of em in this igloo. Ventilation may be an issue...

I recently started chewing (NOT dipping) and I'm not sure how i feel about it. I get weird nicotine highs. It's weird. Yes, I do know it can cause cancer. So can standing too close to a TV, talking on your cell phone, or inhaling the sweet scent of burning plastics :) I don't plan on making it a habit. Plus it grosses people out. I don't know.


Bro...
I got a taste of Cali and want to go back. NOW! Warped in California was like, the best, and there is no cold weather :)I love palm trees, beaches, California girls, in-n-out burger. And unlike Kevin, I do like the huge glasses girls wear. I think it's hilarious.

NOTE: if you've never been to In-N-Out burger, GO!!!! Delectable burgers..... dear god they were good. I convinced my boss to buy me a shirt from there when we were on tour. I was "supposed to pay him back". Any burger joint that has a secret menu is worth mentioning.

Along with some other things I dislike:
I really despise the sound of my own voice. Is that sad? I think i sound like a tool. Speaking of the sound of my voice, I hate 1-ply toilet paper. Someone once told me, "There are two things you can't cheap out on in life. Bedding and your toilet paper". The concept of one ply is just dumb. You're just going to double it up anyways...... Jeez. That's one of the things i hate about college. Communal bathrooms suck, but i can deal with it. The other thing that really grinds my gears( haven't seen family guy in so long) is my bed at school. Those of you who have been in my room know how nice and comfy my bed it. It sucks you in. Lets just say my bed at school is "lacking".

Once upon a time....
The pipes in my dorms use to clank constantly all night. There were a few nights where i noticed it so much i stayed up until about 5:30AM. That sucks when you have classes at nine. But tonight, there are no clinks and clangs. I fear that this won't last because today was fairly warm. I'm doomed....

What happened to my life?
Since this summer i really started to realize how old i was. I took on a lot of new responsibilities I'd never had to think about. I look back now and wonder where all those days of playing with my race cars went, where the hell my Lego castles have disappeared to, and why the hell I ever sold my N64. ya know? The good days. Where I didn't have to worry about that project i had due, or pissing that person off, or just... being responsible. I miss the days where i had no worries. I miss following my dad around or doing arts and crafts with my mom. I miss being little, when both of my feet could fit into the show prints my dad's boots would make. He still has those same boots haha. It's weird to me how my feet can't fit in them anymore. I'd venture back there for a while if i could. There is something in the new line inspired by this.... You'll see.

Inspiration:
I met a lot of cool people this summer and still miss two of the dudes i was closest with. Like... A LOT.... Kevin I think really helped me mature as a person the past few months. He opened my mind to see things in different ways. I kinda took grasp of a new way of living. He inspired me to start writing this shit. So thanks. I owe you a Sammich'. He's a really cool individual and i miss the look on his face when he'd be like " Really, dude? You just sold three cases of comps in an hour? Really?". Good times.



Then there is Jim Riley. Him and Kev were like my two big gay dads on the tour (they are both very straight). Jim taught me a lot. haha. I'll never forget his thanks... "Thanks for buying me dinner this summer". It's one of those you had to be there things... I miss him doing jumping jacks in mosh pits, knowing EVERYONE on the tour, him being godly with women, and his cute blue eyes. Jim and I would sucker groups of girls into buying shit. That was hands down awesome. He's a rad dude. I'll post a picture of him in his prime down here somewhere :D

I miss those dudes.....









Small World...
So i do these local shows with Bands and solo artists and the craziest thing just happened. For my English class I had to read an essay out of a Student Anthology titled: Year I Missed Winter, By Rosie Walunas. Rosie is a wicked nice, cute, and talented girl that plays our shows a lot. It's a small world. Ha... Anywho, She's awesome...

Speaking of shows...
I have a huge passion for doing live sound and lighting reinforcement. I work (I wouldn't call it "work" per say) for this production company called PDP Productions and it's like, one thing i absolutely love. If i was asked to do sound on a 365-day, show a day tour, I'd already be packing. I love it. I love the people I work with and all the cool people i get to meet. More importantly, I allow a bunch of people to have a great time at a kick ass show. If you want to see what I'm talking about, come to a show. (my clothing line will be debuting new items at these shows) Here are some upcoming dates we have:

-January 3Rd- Greenfield Green Teen
-January 4Th- Enfield, CT
-January 9Th- Albany, NY

You can also check out www.pdpproductions.com for more information :)

On another note...
I'd like to leave this post with these last words.

"Bigfoot's Dick"

I'll melt away in the summer air

My high school career flashed before my eyes...

...for better or worse.

The last stint of high school was absolutely awful. I was cut loose of all ties to one of my really good friends. It caught me by surprise and lets just say i didn't deal with it too well... Looking back on it 6 months later I realize that it was for the best. I fell into a routine where all i did was focus myself on one person. I secluded myself from pretty much everyone else and i dearly regret that. If i could go back in time i would have made this change much sooner, but i was just too stubborn to realize what i was actually doing to myself. I missed out on times that I'll never be able to get back. And that sucks, but it's my own god damn fault. The only thing that sucks worse than that is continuing to be out of touch with my friend (I guess I can't call her that). I can't say i don't miss her from time to time. I guess everything has its own price though.

Without this bump in my life, I wouldn't have had the summer that i did. I got reconnected with a lot of my friends in high school and even some old friends from back in middle school who I hadn't seen in over four years. It was nice to be to be having fun with other people for once. It didn't last for too long though.

My friend Seth from a local band called Us Against The Archers (www.myspace.com/usagainstthearchers <==Check them out. They Rock!) invited me out on the Vans Warped Tour for the summer on his record label called Topshelf Records (http://www.topshelfrecords.org). This was probably one of the best decisions i made in my life. I jumped into it pretty blindly not knowing what i was getting myself into. I showed up to meet with three dudes i had never seen in my life. Kevin (co-owner of topshelf records with Seth), Jim (Use to play in a band called The Homefront), and Andy (owner of rentgreenvans.com and drummer for a band called Defeater). Three pretty rad dudes that I'm really happy I met. Warped tour was flat out the best overall experience I've ever had. I met so many people. so many.... you don't even know. I got to see a ton of bands that i grew up listening to, bands that have shaped me to be who i am today, every day. There isn't anything better than that. but there is. I wasn't aware that there were HUGE bbq's at the end of almost every day where all the bands and crew hung out. Not only was i seeing the bands i loved, i was mingling. That was awesome. I learned to not be ashamed to live in a van for three months straight, to shower in misting units and hoses in parking lots, or to shower using only baby wipes, or not shower for 4 days. I learned how to get tanned, as well as getting sun poisoning. Bananas and peanut butter wheat sandwiches are freakin epic and don't let anyone tel you different. i miss the days where i would sleep on top of a van under the sweet California sky and wake up to "underneath it all" by No Doubt BLARING over the line arrays in the morning. I miss waking up, brushing my teeth with bottled water, taking a shit in a portapotty (called honey buckets in some places :D ), loading my backpack with CD's, and making a complete ass out of myself with I <3 SLUTS stickers plastered all over my body. I miss hustling little kids for their money :)I truly miss the car rides with Jim and Kevin. probably More than anything else.

The only bad thing about warped tour happened in Butte, Montana. 6 people in our van, only one was awake. It wasn't our driver... Our driver fell asleep at the wheel at about 60-70 mph and we headed into the median between both roads. bumps in the median finally woke our driver who then try to correct himself back onto the road and ended up jerking the wheel. The jerk of the wheel turned the van sideways and then caused the van to roll. Three times... I woke up in mid-air. tumbling. All 6 of us flipped in the van three times. It was the worst thing that had ever happened to me. On top of all this, only one of us was wearing a seat belt. We all walked away from the wreck with minor injuries. Me and a wicked rad chick named Heather got taken to a hospital as a precaution but nothing too serious.



I'm happy to be alive. The car crash made me realize all the things that i take for granted in life and really opened my eyes to life. It sucked. but I'm thankful to have a better outlook on life.

Tour ended way too early but it was nice to be home for once. Being reunited with friends was really nice. really, really nice. I miss summer :(

I'm currently going to school at UMass Amherst and it's pretty cool. Those of you who know me know that I'm not a studious person. I'm actually doing work though( Do Work!). It's kind of weird actually. I've written more ten page papers than i ever thought i would. My good friend Charlie stated it simply, "We went from writing 2 essays a year to two essays a week". that pretty much sums it up. It's a change of pace but it's good. I actually enjoy some of what I'm doing. I still have a problem with "school" though. A lack of motivation i guess. One thing that sucks a lot is not being able to do anything with my clothing line while I'm at school. If you don't know of it yet, please check it out at www.paradoxapparel.com and I'll love you forever.

I've miraculously made some time for the line lately though. I'm hoping to release it tentatively on January first, 2009. I think i can make it happen. I just put in a HUGE order to American apparel and can't wait for the eight boxes to arrive :D I'll be putting out FOUR new tee shirts ( one girly fitted), reprints of my old designs, an alternative to an old design, cute GIRLS UNDERWEAR, new buttons, and probably tote bags :) It should be pretty awesome (crosses fingers).

Thanksgiving just passed and it was really nice to see all my family together again. It doesn't get to happen as much anymore with everyone out doing their own thing. Next is Christmas i guess. I go back to school for a week, have a study week, take my finals, then I'm home for the holidays :D I can't wait to see people over Christmas break. I'll be home for over a month and things won't be as hectic as they are around thanksgiving. Plus i haven't seen some people i really miss since the end of summer. It'll be a nice little reunion. This is also the time i plan to slave away making the new Paradox line in my basement :) I slave away rocking out all day. It's not too bad though. I enjoy doing it and hopefully others do too.

So that's me currently. Content. I'll post some mock-ups of my new line soon for those of you who haven't seen them. Peace.